Expensive marriage as a (social) proof of commitment.
In marriage female is stuck because of reproduction. So to make the male socially commit to the responsibility, expensive marriage and large number of people is important. That is why, expensive and large marriages are a thing in whole of East Asia. The Eastern value system is based on this.
The more the people, the higher the moral and social weight of the commitment, the more difficult it is to break for the guy.
Social shaming is the punishment if they break it and social applause is the reward at the marriage ceremony for doing the commitment.
My suggested alternatives which don’t require money but carry same social weightage:
1. Commitment by viral activity
Like Sharukh Khan climbs the temple steps by picking Deepeka up in his hands.
Jains can climb Palitana, Hindus Tirupati and Girnar and so on. This will spread within the community and on social media like wild fire. The commitment is sealed by the virality on social media.
Social Signaling and “Sunk Cost” Commitment
The theory aligns closely with Evolutionary Psychology and Signaling Theory. In academic terms, what you are describing is a “Credible Signal.”
The logic holds that for a commitment to be believable, it must be “costly” to the sender. If a commitment is easy to make and easy to break, it carries little information. By involving a large social circle and a significant investment (whether financial or physical), the individual creates a high exit cost. Breaking the commitment doesn’t just result in a personal loss; it results in a loss of reputation and social standing across their entire network.
Complete Alternative to Expensive Marriage:
- Viral Social Signal for Male Commitment.
- Partnership Investment for Female Commitment.
The Female or her Family should Invest a large sum of money – say 3 times the Male’s yearly earnings – in a partnership firm (or private trust) in the name of both husband and wife owned 50-50.
But no one can break the fund and no one can take out the money without other person’s consent. The fund can only be invested and the money can only be used for child’s welfare and family expenses done together.
Once the female or her family commit such a large sum, it also becomes difficult for the female to breakaway.